Journey ends... Celebration begins for Eric

... and what a 4th of July party will be happening in heaven today. Today at 10:43 Eric passed on in a very quiet way. "Quietly" again is the word that came to mind this morning as I sat with Eric by myself. I left his side for a minute and when I returned, he was gone. I reminded him earlier that it was the 4th of July and that I thought he should go to heaven to shoot off the fireworks and join the party. A day of independence... Eric is free from pain and the battle is over.

I went back to the beginning of Eric’s journey to reread the first blog posting on SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2008. I seldom returned to the older postings to reread all of the stops and goes that happened along the way. I remember many of the stops without looking but I’m sure that there are entries that would remind me of tough days I’ve already forgotten. I know that in the midst of those days, there were also blessings. Eric always reminded me when I started a blog entry that the most important thing that he wanted to say was that his faith remained strong and that God is good all the time. When Eric started this journey, we knew the prognosis was 3 to 5 years and now 3 years later, he has been healed eternally. And from June 2008, 3 years ago when we suspected that Eric was seriously ill, we have known that God would never forsake him. Eric was faithful through the best of times and the worst of times. He often told me that my faith encouraged him but I know that I was encouraged by his faith as well. It was my privilege to walk beside him on this journey.

Being at the hospice care facility, I had a lot of time to reflect and remember how this journey affected our family. We spent more time together. Happiness was found in little things each day. We enjoyed a family vacation to the Smokey Mountains, a little weekend trip to our favorite spot, Hocking Hills and a 20th wedding anniversary trip to Maine. Eric raised his children for 3 years knowing that the words he said and the time he spent with them was important. I know personally that we had 3 years of marriage that brought us closer together than if this had not happened. All of the things that we took for granted were important to us. We knew that every day was a gift and that they had to happen one at a time. Slowing our lives down made us aware of how precious every moment is with those we love. In the past I have seen others go through tragedy and wondered where their strength came from. I know now first hand that in our weakness and though pain and suffering, we are made strong through our faith in Jesus Christ.

One of Eric’s fears in his final weeks was that he would be forgotten. I assured him that Eric Grisier could never be forgotten. I will have memories of many special times just him, and me, times together as a family and fun times with friends. He seldom did anything without whistling or singing a song. He remembered lyrics of songs that would speak to a moment. He had a smile that was contagious. He was the life of the party and knew how to “work the room”. Eric was always ready to share words of wisdom or take an opportunity to teach Emily and Adam a life lesson. He was never lost for words and he made sure everyday that he said, “I Love you” at least one time and the second time he would ask “have I told you today how much I love you”. At bedtime, his good night words were “God bless you, sleep tight, Jesus loves you”. He was a man of his word, a protective husband and father and a “best friend” to many. Eric enjoyed working at Bard for 27 years and took great pride in the company, grateful for the many opportunities that he was given. He often talked about “his girls at Bard” and how he would tell them how wonderful his wife was. I figured that they were rolling their eyes but I have to admit, I couldn’t ask for anyone to love me more than Eric did. He enjoyed his church family at St. Martin’s and the worship times we had together. The list could go on and on for a very long time and many of you can add things to my list… even things that I am not aware of from his childhood, teenage years and early adulthood. When I hear some of the stories from those “before Gwen” years, I smile and imagine how much fun they must have been for family and so many friends.

I could just write forever but I won’t. My intentions were to bring this blog to an end and to express my love and pay tribute to a wonderful man who brought so much joy into my life. Emily and Adam have so much of Eric in them and I will always have him with me through them. I know that if there is a way to get a hug from heaven, Eric will find it. Knowing Eric’s determination, I could imagine him finding a way to audibly speak to us from heaven. We joked that God would have to clear his agenda for 2 days when Eric came through those pearly gates so that he could ask all of the questions that he had when he left this life. He told us that he was going to go ahead and “get it all dialed in”. What a party is must be in heaven today.

God bless all of you for your prayers and support these part 3 years. We all have a lot of adjustments to make now and finding the next normal will take time. But as Eric taught us all so well, we will do that by the grace of God one day at a time looking forward to the eternal reunion in heaven. That has to bring a smile… Gwen

Waiting Quietly...

End of Thursday and in our fourth week here at Hospice… June is almost over and the time has slipped away. Even when it seems that the days might drag on and on they really haven’t. I’m sure that it is God’s answer to all of the prayers lifted up for our family. Eric continues to weaken. In fact when I submitted the last blog, Eric was already turning the corner to the tough days he faces now. Eric told us that he is ready to be healed eternally and tired of this earthly pain and suffering. But although he has submitted himself to God’s Will in spirit, his body continues to fight the battle because he is young and strong. I struggle daily to understand why Eric must continue to fight this battle. I read this in Lamentations earlier this week.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”

The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.

That morning I especially noticed the last verse and specifically the word “quietly”. I’ve heard these verses many times before. In fact, Pastor Paul read them to us during one of his many faithful visits and I didn’t hear that word so much. When I read this verse, I was reminded that God has directed so many other things in my life and in the 22 years that I have had with Eric. They didn’t necessarily happened as I prayed for them but they happened and at the perfect time and they happened perfectly. I can't understand this but I do have confidence His wisdom.

Eric continues to wait humbly and quietly. He continues to witness his faith to the staff here and to his family. He continues to praise God from whom all blessings flow even when the situation could be cursed with other words. He amazes me and shows me constantly why I love him so much. At this stage, this is the most obvious trait of Eric that remains. He has brought tears to my eyes and I see tears well up in the eyes of his caregivers here at Hospice. We all know how easy it is to love Eric and to the very end, he is still impacting people in a positive way. I so often smile when I hear his words to one of the nurses. Last night before we slept, he rewarded my actions with the famous words, “thank you my love”. I wasn’t sure that he even knew I was there and these words brought so much comfort and again will be a cherished memory.

I close again thanking so many for your prayerful support. Please pray for Eric to have a peaceful passing into the arms of Jesus. Waiting quietly…. Gwen

The Eric we all know and love...

I just had to blog this morning to share some of the humor we all love so much about Eric. My last 2 blogs were very true but Eric has challenged the blogs like I would expect him to :) We have had a lot of conversation the last 12 hours and that would include through the night. Emily didn't get a good night of rest. Eric called her one time and told her to smile and then took a picture of her with his phone. He played a couple of pranks on her as well and I think he kept the 3rd shift nurses busy as well. I shouldn't admit this but I slept through it all... exhaustion must be my excuse. After this last week, we have enjoyed this time with him. This morning we decided to have a major project of cleaning the room, moving around the furniture and "keeping Eric awake" so that when it is dark outside, we are all sleeping. I hope this blog brought a smile to your face as some of you remember something like this when you've been with Eric. These words are not meant to change the real reason we sit here waiting for God's calling but it does create memories that we will cherish forever. Hang in there with the prayers... we get strength from others who hold us in prayer. Thank you... Gwen

We continue to be patient...

I don't really have a lot to update but wanted to blog and let you all know that we need prayers for patience and understanding. We are approaching our third week here and continue to see Eric getting weaker and yet because of his age, his body is strong enough to fight this battle. Our communication with Eric is short and seldom. We mostly sit in silence and wait trying to understand why he must suffer any longer. But we know that God has this planned perfectly for all of us and we can't possibly understand this but need to trust and obey. Love to all... Gwen

Waiting patiently for God to call Eric home...

Good Morning: I am beside Eric's bed as he begins to struggle with staying awake. His physical body is letting go of an existence that he has known for 48 years and that I have been blessed to be a part of for more than 20 years. Many of you have known Eric and enjoyed life with him for many years as well and others for just a short time as our paths cross and life happens. I sit here saddened by this process and what it takes from a person who was so full of life, love and happiness. Eric was all of those things every day to me, Emily, Adam and so many of you that are reading this blog today. He is ready to go home and we are ready for him to be freed from this suffering. We have been here over 2 weeks now. It was a good decision because the weeks were easier for all of us here together with help from Hospice. Every day now seems to be more evident that Eric will not be with us much longer. God only knows the hour and we wait patiently for His call to Eric because we know that it will all be orchestrated according to His will for Eric and for each of us.

I ask for special prayers now as we sit and wait. Pray for Eric as he submits to God's calling and that he knows the comfort and peace that God has for him. I also ask that you pray for our family as this is the most difficult thing we've ever faced. And, I will pray for many of you who also suffer with us. We hold on to many wonderful memories. I think we can all remember something that Eric has shared with us, his witty sense of humor or his words of wisdom and encouragement as he always wanted to help anyone that he could. Thank you for lifting us in prayer now. I will blog again as I can. God's peace be with all of us... Gwen

Friday Update

I don't have much of an update today but felt it was important to blog and write a few words. The situation is basically the same as the last blog. Eric is comfortable here as a patient. I have been with him almost all the time. The kids are here every day but not all day long which is good so that he can rest more during the day. The evenings tend to get a little busy with the kids and other family visits. I am grateful for being able to work on my laptop and stay in touch with Sauder. It passes my time and I am still here for Eric when he needs me. I have to tell you all that this facility is absolutely wonderful and the staff is the best ever. It's all about Eric and his needs with the goal that he is pain free. They take such good care of him and us too as we have made our little home away from home here. Obviously this is not where we want to be because we know why we are here. This wasn't what we had hoped to do this summer but we are here and it is where we need to be. Remembering the frustration at home trying to manage the pain and not understanding everything, this was the right decision for all of us. With 24 hour care, there is a nurse close by with an answer or medication to make it better. I can't say much more... we don't know God's timing. I just ask that you continue to pray for Eric that he can have the peace that passes all understanding as he faces each hour submitting the end of this life to his Father's will. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice that gives us the assurance of eternal life. With love, Eric and Gwen

Another Update to keep in touch...

Good Morning: I can't believe that we've been here for almost a week already. Eric's pain is under control and his anxiety is also more controlled here at the center than it was at home. We don't carry on many conversations anymore but sit in quiet moments with contentment knowing that God's timing will be perfect in all of this. I really don't have a lot to share but wanted to let you know that your prayers are always felt. If they weren't, we couldn't face this experience with God's peace. It definitely is an experience that cannot be explained, even in my own mind as I live it each day. We love you all... Eric and Gwen